According to the American Cancer Society, there were around 1.9 million diagnoses of cancer in the United States last year. A diagnosis of cancer not only impacts the patient but everyone around them: parents, children, spouses, friends, extended family members, and coworkers. Mental health support throughout treatment and beyond can be an impactful part of healing for the patient and their support system.

What do I tell people?

If you have been diagnosed with cancer, remember that this is your journey and you decide when, what, and how much you want others to know. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Talking to a therapist can help you navigate these decisions before you act so you can feel confident in a plan that feels uniquely right for you.

What do I say to someone who has been newly diagnosed?

When someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer, consider the context of your relationship before reaching out. Below are some helpful things to consider:

How close are you in terms of this individual’s inner circle? Did the patient tell you about their diagnosis or did you hear it from others? Are you certain the information accurate? If you heard the news from someone else and are not in the most inner circle, be especially careful about catching the person off guard. Respecting relationship boundaries and allowing space for the patient to take the lead on how much and when they want to talk about their health condition is the best practice.

How should I treat someone on a cancer journey?

A common request by people receiving treatment for cancer is that they do not wish to think about their condition all the time, especially when they are engaged in normal life activities. Being seen as different or an object of pity is often a nagging reminder of the circumstances that they are already anxious about.

What are some practical things I can do to help?

I am often told by clients that they fear saying the wrong thing to a loved one with cancer. Yes, there are unhelpful things to say and there are resources to help you increase your awareness of what to avoid. But, most importantly people who are on a cancer journey tell me that they do not remember exactly what others say, but they do remember who cared. Find ways to show that you care in your own unique way that honors your relationship.

A great start can be just saying “let me know if I can do anything to help.” However, when someone is sick, tired, and even struggling through a treatment day, asking for help can be extra challenging. Look for everyday ways that might just ease their burden:

Mow their grass as well as yours on lawn day
Cook extra food and bring it by
Send gift cards for food or groceries or schedule a grocery delivery for them
See if you can fill their car up with gas and give it a wash while you are out
Help with carpooling
Take their dog for a walk
Send them a good novel
Take the kids on a playdate
Give them company while the spouses take some time to play golf or take a jog

Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or request an appointment online.

This blog post was written by Jill Sebaugh.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

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